The ad in the tube was of an amazingly hot man.
Seriously, he was out of this world handsome. Square jaw, pristine bone structure, full lips, graying hair (just enough to think he is wise and not old) eyebrows to die for and big, almond shaped dirty* blue eyes.** His body, underneath the plain logo heavy t-shirt, seemed to be toned, tight and possibly hairless. He filled thrusted ticked all the boxes of textbook male beauty standards.
I kinda wanted to light a cigarette and sit back while watching him.
Let me remind you he was a 2D man at a tube ad.
He smiled at the camera, while pretending to fix a Wi-Fi modem that someone else couldn’t. Of course, look at him, he is the perfect modem expert.***
The dizzyingly handsome handy tech-guy.
It almost made me uneasy to look at him. I couldn’t at his 2D, perfect, starry eyes and flawless teeth. He was the perfect alpha that had the ability to turn back tides and make women jizz in their pants. He made the actual, living, 3D guys around the ad him pale in comparison, as I saw them in the form of pale, fleshy blobs.
The wors part is about myself. Because I came to the sad, sad conclusion that my insecurities are so deep and mind-numbing that:
- I blushed whenever I’d pluck up the courage to look at the poster Not even stare. I just glanced and then pretended that something else caught my attention.
2. I kept thinking “Ohmygod, I am so, so underdressed for this”**** I actually thought that.
And then I thought “GROW UP WOMAN”. You are old enough believe in yourself, be strong and hit on anyone you want.
As my stop fast approached, I got up and gave him one more look.
Bet he has a small penis.
*dirty, dirty, dirty
**Pretty sure that was a gift from Photoshop, not nature.
***Chances are, he charmed that modem back to working properly.
****For what? What exactly? Staring into space in the tube?